Chef’s Log 67: Longing for Longuinhos

As you know by now, I am something of a food enthusiast. Of course, anyone who knew me on my home planet would say that this is an understatement. Whenever a certain dish caught my fancy, I would go to great lengths to experience that dish in all its glory at least one more time. Armed with nothing but a multi-purpose rope, I once singlehandedly scaled the highest mountain on Gastronomica just for a chance to capture (and later eat) the incredibly rare WereDragon egg. Continue reading

Chef’s Log 57: Canapé Your Respect

‘Value for money’ is a term used very loosely on this planet. Money itself is a strange concept. I don’t understand why humans didn’t stick to the original barter system. My planet has been using it for the past hundred millennia or so and it still works perfectly fine. It is yet more evidence of the species’ declining intelligence, if you ask me. Continue reading

Chef’s Log 25: Behind The Tapastry


Creamy, cheesy mashed potatoes wrapped in a crunchy fried spring roll shell

This tendency of the humans to try and appropriate cuisines from countries that they’ve probably never been to is most endearing. I was told that the Chinese food available in India is in fact, nothing like the food available in China. I perhaps would be disappointed if I was promised authentic Gastronomican food and then discovered that it is merely some human’s interpretation of it. Continue reading