Salutations homo sapiens (although I hesitate to use that term given the original meaning of the word ‘sapien’). Loyal readers, as well as casual readers who happened to glance at the blog on that particular day, will recall that I made a rather significant (some might say game-changing) announcement approximately 1 year ago, human time. I am now pleased to confirm that this event has indeed come to pass. I have spent the last few months exploring, observing and meticulously documenting the culinary habits and culture of what is now my new home—Finland. Continue reading
Category Archives: Alien Analysis
Chef’s Log 74: On (Human) Food Snobbery
I’m all for fine wine
and how it can make flavours shine
But when I’m unsure which
wine to eat with my dish,
I always hear that judgmental whine
Continue reading
Chef’s Log 65: Stomach Break
Salutations, faithful followers. No doubt my long absence has disappointed you greatly. Perhaps your life has lost all meaning in the wake of this most tragic of losses. But don’t fret, I have returned to bring purpose back to your otherwise meaningless existence. First, a brief explanation regarding my absence. Continue reading
Chef’s Log 54: The Unbearable Lightness of Beef
Yes, beef has been banned in Maharashtra. Well, whatever was passing for beef. I’m not very certain now if I have ever really tasted cow meat. I will not comment on the silliness of humans letting politics (disguised as religious sentiments) dictate their food choices. Continue reading
Chef’s Log 50: Food Haikus
I found myself inspired by this absolutely charming and quaint Japanese form of poetry. I thought I should try my hand at capturing eternal wisdom within 17 syllables. And so, I present my food haikus:
Why, is my question,
Is not all the food here fried,
When it tastes so good? Continue reading
Chef’s Log 33: East of Eatin’
By now I have learnt that the Earth sector known as ‘India’ is a place that contains within itself many cultures, many traditions, many languages and most important of all, many kinds of food. Since I have been situated primarily on the west coast of the country for a reasonable amount of time now, I naturally developed a curiosity regarding the east coast and its (presumably different) culinary traditions. Continue reading
Chef’s Log 27: The Official Alien’s Guide to Food on Earth
The other day I realized that there is a distinct possibility that a fellow alien might wander into this planet and like me, attempt to sample its food. In which case, they would find themselves lost in a maze of terms and concepts which they know nothing about. Continue reading
Chef’s Log 24: Eggstraordinary
Let me begin by explaining why an egg that is edible is such a completely new and alien concept for me. On my planet, the flying creatures that could be considered the equivalent of birds on Earth are all mammals and hence do not lay eggs. The only eggs found on my planet are those laid by reptiles and they are far from delicious. Continue reading
Chef’s Log 20: Masterpiece
Choris Pao
On my home planet, there have been occasions when a particular dish attained such a degree of perfection that it was officially declared a work of art. I myself came quite close to receiving that honour with my triple layered Honeydragon and skunk-apple pie. Continue reading
Chef’s Log 3: A Cup of Sugar, and a Pinch of Evil
The Epitome of Evil
I have to say, I’m surprised. I always thought of humans as a relatively gentle, peaceful species (Well, aside from the atom bombs and wars and all that). However, today I discovered that they are capable of producing something which can only be described as pure evil. Continue reading