Hello, humans. (‘Greetings, Earthlings’ has been done to death, I’m afraid). Unfortunately, the mindless, soul-sucking industry you like to call ‘Hollywood’ seems to have marred our image to disastrous proportions. No, we would not like to take over your puny planet, or your puny minds for that matter (What would we do with them anyway?). What we would like, is to taste your food.
My colleagues and I were (to use human terms) chefs and food critics on the  Planet Gastronomica (About 10,000 light-years from Earth, located in the Nebular Sector) We have been sent out on an expedition to explore the cuisine and the culinary habits of Earth. I have been assigned to this section of the planet, the western hemisphere of what you humans refer to as ‘India’. These are my observations.

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