Chef’s Log 69: You’d Be Stewpid To Not Try This

We have an old saying on my planet, which roughly translates to ‘true strength of character can be measured by how much meat one can consume in a single sitting.’ This could explain my strong dislike (and mistrust) of vegetarians—at least partially. But the point is, I have grown extremely fond of the red meat found on Earth, particularly the pork and beef varieties, and have a special preference for restaurants that can do it justice. Continue reading

Chef’s Log 60: It’s Getting Draughty

I confess, it took me a while to wrap my head around this thing called ‘beer.’ It confused me. It was fizzy, and most fizzy drinks I had sampled till then were sweet; overwhelmingly so. But not only is beer not sweet, it’s downright bitter! Add to that a strange frothiness, and I was flabbergasted. Continue reading

Chef’s Log 59: A Prem-ium Meal

On my planet, once a restaurant reaches a certain age (the Earth equivalent of around 2,000 years) it is declared a place of worship–a place where one can go to reflect upon the divine nature of food. Patrons are required to treat the meal that is served with the utmost reverence. It becomes a place of solace and tranquility. Continue reading

Chef’s Log 55: Konkan Impressed

Humans are such strange creatures. They pierce themselves and make lasting holes in their bodies. They create permanent wounds using ink. And they have the gall to call it ‘art’! Luckily, these puzzling tendencies do not reflect on their food. If this ever-perplexing race has anything that represents a saving grace, it is what they eat. A good example of this is the restaurant ‘Konkan Express.’ First and foremost, it is exactly what the name promises. The food is authentic; the service, quick. I tried the Bhangda Fry and the Mutton Kolhapuri with Jawar Bhakari. The fish was fresh, beautifully seasoned, and crisped to perfection. Continue reading

Chef’s Log 52: YogurtYay

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Waffle sticks. So good. Sigh.

A good dessert, like a good book, stays with you forever. You might be surprised to learn that we have books on my planet. Well, except, they are much more sophisticated than the paltry fare available here. I use the word fare because like most things on Gastronomica, books are consumed. Ingested. Gulped down. Whatever definition works best for you. Continue reading