I realize that it appears to have been a mighty long time since my last update, but Gastronomicans process time rather differently from humans. Especially when they’re not on Earth. What would be months on this planet is a matter of mere days on Gastronomica, and I confess I did extend my vacation a little longer than advisable. What can I say? I was homesick. But I will say that although it was glorious to be reunited with the exquisite food of my home planet, Earth’s culinary delights continue to beckon. So I’m afraid I’m not done with you yet, you maddeningly illogical but inescapably delicious planet.
And what’s more, my superiors have informed me that a transfer is in the works. That’s right! I have actually managed to gain the approval of the Grand Galactic Council of Greedy Gastronomicans—an organisation known for holding such high standards that they famously let an unfortunate chef drown in his own mediocre soup. It is no easy feat to impress the GGCGG. I will be shifting my area of operation in the near future, although the location has not been determined yet. Stay tuned for more updates. Exciting times ahead!